We create problems when we are compelled by emotions to act one way or another, but if we become so skillful with our emotions that we are no longer compelled, we can act om rational ways that are best for ourselves and everybody else

Self awareness depends on being able to see ourselves objectively, and that requires fhe ability to examine our thoughts and emotions from third person perspecrive, not getting swept in emotion, not identifying with it, but just seeing it clearly and objectively

There is an ability called “response flexibility” which is the fancy name for the ability to pause before you act

When you label an emotion you are experiencing, it somehow helps you manage rhat emotion

High resolution perception means perception becomes so refined across both time and space that you can watch an emotion the moment it is arising, and ceases

Meta attention is attention of attention, the ability to oay attention to attention itself

Happiness is the default state of mind, so when mind becomes calm and clear, it returns to its default

Every time your attention wanders away from your breath and you bring it back, its like flexing your biceps, your muscle of attentiom grows a bit stronger

Regain attentional focus by bringing attention back to the process of breathing

Seven-point meditation posture:
Back straight like arrow
Legs crossed in lotus position
Shoulders relaxed, held up and back, like a vulture
Chin tucked in slightly, like an iron hook
Eyes closedmor gazing into space
Tounge held against the upper palate
Lips slightly apart, teeth not clenched

Mindfulness can increase happiness without changing anything else. It prevents us from taking things for granted

Mindful conversation involves listening, looping (demonstrating you have really heard shat the person is saying), dipping (knowing how you are feeling about what you are hearing)

Do not sit for so long that it becomes burdernsome. Sit often, for short periods, and your mindfulness practice may soon feel like an induogence

The first effecf of bringing mindfulness fo joyful experience is they become even more enjoyable, simply because you are more present to enjoy them

Individuals with accurate self assessmenf competence are aware of their abilities and limitations, seek out feedback and learn from their mistakes, and know where they need to improve and when to work with others who have complementary strengths

Journaling is the practice of self discovery by writing to yourself. It is important to help you discover what is in your mind that is not in a clear, conscious view

While we cannof stop an unwholesome thought or emotion from arising, we have the power to let it go, and the highly trained mind can let it go the moment it arises

I’ll be so happy if I am free from this pain, but when we are free from that pain, we forget to enjoy freedom from pain

Do not feel bad about feeling bad

Do not feed negative emotion or memories

Start every thought sith kindness an humor

Handling triggers:
Attention deployment = calm the mind, observe the body, count to 10, deep breaths, think of something else
Reframing or reinterpreting meaning of situation = connections to own past, see other’s perspective, see positive, kindness and compassion
Acceptance of and willingness to experience emotion = meshing, humor and curiosity

Three types of happiness:
Pleasure, hard to maintain
Passion, shen peak performance meets peak engage,ent
Higher purpose, something bigger than yourself that has meaning to you

The secret is to create a situation in which your work is something you do for fun, so you ade doing it for your own entertainment anyway and somebody just happepns fo pay you for it

Three elements of true motivation:
Autonomy, the urge to direct our own lives
Mastery, the desire to get better and better at something that matters
Purpose, the yearning to do what we do in service of something larger than ourselves

For the type of work that requires creativity or other cognitive skills, monetary incentives do not work well, they can be counterproductivd

When you do something beyond yourself, something altruistic, people will want to help too

Training resilience:
Inner calm, emotional resilience, coginitive resilience

What distinguishes successful people is their attitude toward failure, and specifically, how they explain their own failures to themselves

People who are optimistic react to setbacks from a presumption of personal power

Empathy works by having you physiologically mimic the other person. Empathy also increases with perceived similarity

Five level of disfunction:
Absence of trust
Fear of conflict
Lack of commitment
Avoidance of accountability
Inattention to results

When praising people, it is best to do so in a way that encourages a growth mind set than labeling the person as smart or else

Compassion components:
Cognitive: I understand you
Affective: I feel for you
Motivational: I want to help you

When you gain increasing mastery over something that matters to you, you activate a status reward, at least when compared agasint your former self

It’s not the stress itself thst gets to you, it’s the feeling of helplessness in fhe face of that stress

Experience that makes people sustainably happy over time is the quality and quantity of social connections