If you are not the person you would like to be or if you adr not living the kind of life you want to be living, it’s likely that your life has been reduced to a network of conditioned responses, encased in a cocoon of ideals, habits, fears, and beliefs
The more automated your life is the more responses thst have become integrated into your personality, the wider the gap between reality and your perception of reality, moving fsrther into your own little world
When you become concious of various aspects of your life, you bring a pnew vitality to your actions
Why do I always stare at myself in the mirror?
You seek reflection of yourself because that is your only source of psychological nourishment. Whenever something happens that causes an emotion in you, give yourself permission really to feel it
Why do I feel the need to arrive early?
There’s usually a feeling of inferiority, you feel that you are not valuable and worthy enough to cause any inconvenience ro someone else. Being as objective as you can, appraise ehat your time is worth in terms of the benefits it brings
Why do I fantasize about saving people and coming to the rescue?
You do not consider yourself special or interesting. You want people to depend on you. You feel guilty and undeserving for any good fortune received in life. Identify your personal heroes, zero in on the traits that make them great, and strengthen those qualities within yourself
Why do i fantasize about having soecial powers?
You don’t feel able to compete on an equal footing with others. You wish you were special to compensate for yournresl or perceived inadequacies and make you feel more in control of your life and circumstances. Review your goals in life
Why do I need to have the radio or TV on when i’m alone?
You don’t want to be forced to confront who you are and what your life has become. Quit procrastinating and focus on a single task until completed.
Why do some people annoy easily?
The traits that you find so objectionable in others are usually the same traits that you possess and dislike in yourself. Accept yourself and others, flaws and all
Why am i so absentminded?
When you consider yourself to be absentminded, you are training yourself to develop this trait. It is a self fulfilling prophecy. Relaxation means different things to different people, so practice the things that appeal to you, such as meditation, yoga, running, etc
Why am I so easily discouraged?
A diminished self concept dictates that preservatioj of your ego is more important than positive expansion of your self image. You are not able to risk injury to your ego on anything that may not be successful.remain focused on your outcome while celebrating small wins along the way. Our doubts are traitord, and makes us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt-Shakespeare
Why do i take so long to make simple decision?
You are simply tired of being wrong and know that if you don’t make a decision, then there’s no way you can mess up. You cling to the rationalization that with each passing day you may have more information and greater wisdom with which to decide. Making decision, often removes any chance to change your mind. You are paralyzed because you have too many decisions to make at one time.
Why am I so reluctant to plan for my future?
By continuing to do shat you have always done, you never have to question your past judgement. There’s no point in planning because you feel that the direction of your life is not really up to you. The exact moment you take responsibility for your circumstances you put yourself in the driver’s seat. Nothing can move until you take this first step
Why do i put off things that would only take a few minutes to do?
Keeping little tasks uncompleted takes your focus away drom the things in your life that you don’t want to look at but should. The small things are kept undone to keep you from thinking of the bigger things, and the big things remain undine because your thoughts are occupied with the little things
Why do i have difficulty disciplining myself?
Discipline is not something you are born with, it’s an ability that is cultivated. Discipline is the single most important trait for success, so whatever uou do, make sure you build it consistently
Shy do I feel I’d be happier and more productive with more structure in my life?
You are more interested in, and crave, the pat on the back than any personal sense of accomplishment from completing the task. Come up with a new goal or goals that will give you what you really want
Why do i keep people waiting?
If you have little respect for yourself, then you are hardly interested in whether you are thought of as rude and inconsedirate for being late. Constant lateness also may be an unconscious manifestatiom of an anger or resentment toward whomever you are meeting
Why do I feel alone even when I’m around people?
Because there’s an emptimess inside thst leaves you unfulfilled. A lack of physical presence means you move uneasily through your world because you lack awareness of yourself
Why do i rarely get a full tank of gas and then let it run out om fumes before refilling?
You have such sense if uncertainty that you find it difficult to distinguish between those things that have a high probability of occuring and those things that are unlikely to happen
Why do I misplace my keys, papers, and just about everything else?
By misplacing items, you create miniobstacles to overcome. In some instances these little challenges are created because unconciously you want to inconvenience yourself
Why am I so clumsy?
If you consider yourself to be uncoordinated and clumsy, then your behavior will tend to be consistent with that belief. Decide that you will no longer allow these negative incidents to hold any power over you
Why do I think about commiting suicide even though i have no intention of doing it?
It’s comforting to know that all of your problems would go away, albeit through a permanent solution to a temporary situation. You get a sense of satiscation knowing that you’ll leave behind people who are grieving and saddened over your death
Why do I complicate the simplest things?
Most of us believe that things have to be complicated and sophisticated in order to be good or effective. You get worried if something is too easy, there must be something wrong or you must not be doing it right
Why do I believe in faith and destiny?
You seek assurance thst everything is going to be all right. Knowledge of the future offers an added incentive for continuing in your effortd, knowing that the payoff is in the bag if you don’t give up. The luxury of putting your faith in the stars provides an excuse for inaction.
Why am I so easily distracted?
Worries, fesrs, and anxieties make it difficult to focus your attention. You lack the ability to put your world in perspective.
Why do I think about acting totally inappropriately in public?
Pressure of our lives and the confining social and cultural norms can be restraining. You do not trust yourself.
Why do I enjoy being angry?
Anger is a mask for other feelings, feelings that you would rather not examine and acknowledge. There may be an emotional void. Amger may offer you a sense of identity. You need anger to take action. Itms the only way people will listen you
Why do I do the stupidest things?
The higher a person’s self image, the grester the chance that he or she makes decisions independent of previous behavior.
Why do i feel unloved?
Because you are afraid being rejected. If you are too filled and consumed with your own ambitions, interests, and wants, there’s no room for love
Why would I rather help others than help myself?
It’s much easier fo give advice fo others than it is to examine your own life. You feel that you are nit able to accomplish anything great in your own life, so to seek purpose you resign yourself to serving the good of others. You are more concerned with what others think of you than what you think of yourself. Learn to tell the difference between honoring your own desires and merely going along with other’s wishes out of a need for approval
Why do I do favors for people I don’t even like?
Other people’s opinion means everyhhing to you.
Why am I such a conformist?
You are afraid people won’t like you if they really know you. Your insecurity causes you to seek praise and validation from all whom you meet.
Why am i so hard on myself?
A gap exist between what you do and what you feel you should be doing. Your life is a constant battlr between expectstion and result, a battle that always produces a no win situation for you. A phrase like, i can’t do anything right, makes it okay not even to try since you’ll just meet failure anyway.
Why does my behavior change depending on the behavior of others.
You sacrifice your own desires and needs ro be accepted. Independent and confident people are less likely to be swayed by the majorupity if they feel it’s not in their best interest
Why am i do competitive?
You do whatever it takes to win because you are in dire need of approval
Why do I feel the need to control others?
You attempt to compensate for feelingd of helplessness in your own life by controlling the lives of others
Why do I secretly hope other people will fail?
The misfortune of others makes you feel better about your own. You would rsther be a big fish in a small pond than a small fish in a big pond.
Why do i obsess over the littlest, stupidest things?
The person who has a full life doesn’t fret the little stuff
Why do i feel that something bad will happen to me if something good happens?
If you feel you deserve good fortune then you are comfortable receiving it.
Why do I look at my watch to see if I’m hungry or tired?
You look for external verificatiom and validation of your feelings because of a lack self trust
Why do I get a nagging feeling that I’m forgetting something?
Unconscious feeling that you are not doing what you really want to be doing or from the feeling that you are missing out on something in your life. Get yourself a purpose, and you’ll find your energies automatically epconcentrating themselves to help manifest your desire
Why do i live in complete fear of my loved ones being injured or killed?
General anxiety, the death of another means the psychological death of yourself, because your entire reason for living is for the respect, love, and admiration of the people you can trust
Why am i so high strung?
You believe that anything can happen at any time, anywhere. In a situation of complete control, you are generally free of anxiety.
Why do i have trouble asking people for help?
You don’t want to be thought of as helpless or dependent. You don’t want to be in debt to another. If you are refused, the rejection may be too painful. Asking for help makes you feel as if you are in some way giving up or giving in.
Why do I act cruelly to people i care about?
Since your own desires are kept submerged, you feel, albeit unconsciously, that others wants should not be fulfilled, either.
Why do i attract the wrong type of person and stay in unhealthy relstionships?
When you get what you feel you deserve, you feel comfortable.
Why do I enjoy gossiping so much?
The misdeeds of others offer you an opportunity to feel better about your own behavior. You don’t have to face the perils in your own life by discussing other’s. Sense of power. Sometimes you need an outlet for negstive feelings you have toward yourself
Why do I enjoy hearing the secrets and confessions of others?
It provides the comfort of knowing that you are not alone with your quirks and neurocitism, you ade not alone who has regrets, insecurities, and problems
Why am I plagued by self doubt?
What we think of ourself dictates our behavior, thoughts, beliefs, and feelings. Anything that can be doubted, often is
Why do i need to be reassured that i’m loved and cared about?
You need for constant reassurance over the status of your relationship is at the very least a matter of insecurity
Why do compliments and praise make me uncomfortable?
Denying a compliment often comes from feeling unworthy of praise.
Why do i feel guilty for things beyond my control?
There’s a conflict between what you do and what you feel you should do
Why do I apologize even when it’s not my fault?
You have a need to avoid confrontation
Why am I so superstitious?
It’s likely that you have, to some degree, lost the capacity to distinguish between what you can control and what you cannot
Why am I so concerned about the opinions of other people?
The more you care what you think of yourself, the less you care what other people think of you
Why don’t I assert myself when I really need to?
Fear of being chastised or punished for expressing yourself.
Why do I feel as if nothing will ever make me happy?
Your mind dwells on what you don’t have, not on what you do. You are not able to enjoy life because you are not able to enjoy the things in life. You don’t want to set yourself up for additional disappointment, so you don’t seek out new opportunities for growth and enjoyment
Why is there so much disappointment in my life?
You try to give permanence to the temporary
Why am I so quick fo judge other people?
You become used ro making assumption without adequate information that you cannot see what is. You barricade yourself in with your beliefs and defend against those one the outside who threaten you and your position
Why is it thst the better things are going the worse I feel?
You feel that you have gotten where you are, and have what you have, through circumstances and luck, not through your own effort and hard work. After resching your gosl you feel you have nothing more to strive for. Anxiety
Why don’t i do the things that i know would make me happy?
You feel that there is something more important and more productive that you should be doing instead. You have gotten comfortable being unhappy.
Why do i feel that if I get anything of value, it will be taken away from me?
You feel unable fo meet any challenges necessary fo preserve the status of your life and the things in it. You take little credit for your achievements, you assume little of responsibility in maintaining your life
Why do i worry about things that will never happen or that I have no control over?
You prefer to do things wjere you have complete control over the outcome
Why do I do something halfway when I know I’ll just have to do it over again?
You are afraid fo test your abilities by giving a job your all. You hope that circumstances will change to make it easier to do it right at another time. You want a sense of satisfaction now. The result of aggression toward others
Why am I so afraid of authority?
You don’t see yourself on equal footing with others and may even feel like achild living an adult life.
Why do I feel emotionally drained even when there’s nothing really going on?
Without a focused passion, your energy just gets used up.
Why do I jump to conclusions and read into things?
The uncertainty is far more stressful than is a negative outcome. The habit of reading into what people say and do means that you rely on your own interpretation and often misss the truth around you.
Why am i preoccupied with death?
You are too scared to let go of the known, which is the past, you never live completely im the unknown, which is today
Why do I have thoughts of finding myself in situations where I’m confused?
Since most of your life seems unpredictable and random, these scenarios keep you in practice for unforeseem situstions and events. Lack of control in your life
Why do I avoid responsibility?
Believing that your life is not in your own hands greatly reduces the incentive for accepting mew responsibilities
Why am I so emotionally fragile?
Inability to cope with life. You are overly sensitive because you exaggerate the importance of other people’s opinion. Anything to show the world thst you are in need of their simpathy and attention
Why am I such loner?
If you prefer a lifestyle of independence and solitude because you enjoy your own company, then that’s healthy and normal. You are unable ro come to terms with your own inadequacies so you reconcile your lack of progress by holding the belief that the world is keeping younfrom succeeding
Why do I wish I were injured?
Illness provides an excuse for not being more productive and offers an explanation that others can readily understand and accept.
Why do I feel as if I’ve got the absolute worst luck?
You are confusing an effective and comforting rationalization for not being everything that you know you can be. Since the fragility of your ego prevents you from accepting the responsibility, the rest of the world must be to blame
Why do I feel like I’m fooling the world?
You feel that anyone could have done your accomplishment and that you just got lucky.
Why do I talk to myself?
You need then to hink out loud in order to separate those thoughts that you want to pay attention to from those you do not
Why do I spent a lot of time fantasizing and daydreaming?
Because it’s far more enjoyable than your own reality. Thise who dream and plan and then put their plans into action are much different from those who conjure up images of wealth and succes and then do nothing toward them
Why do. I routinely rationalizd things in my life?
You don’t permit yourself to see the world and your life as they really are. When you lie to yourself, you are really trying to hide from yourself
Why is it so hard for me to stop destructive habits?
The longer you engage in the behavior, the moreunaware you becomeof the actuak activity.
Why do I undermine my own efforts?
Ability doesn’t mean mobility. You are not willing to risk giving uo shat you are to chance becoming something greater
Why do I feel unimportant?
You feel that you have to do something in order to be someone. You confusemwho you are with what you do. Those who embark on a spiritual journey and renounce their possessions and status have little in the way of proof of their successes.
Why do I dwell on negative thoughts?
It provides a way for you to get back at yourself. You are uncomfortable with happiness. Lack of direction and passion. You may have an overwhelming need to prepare yourself psychologically for life’s little surprises
Why do I eat when I’m not hungry?
You need to dull awareness of yourself.
Why don’t I do more when I’m capable of so much?
A lack of focus often leads you to dabble in many areas. If you do succeed you’ll have nothing to look forward to.
Why am I so obsessed with my appearance?
You feel you will be treated poorly and meanly if others, even if the same sex, do not find you attractive
Why am. I so reluctant to face reality?
You don’t want to start any project or do anything that may lead to a problem or an inconvenience.
Why can It ake on the world some days, and other days Ic an barely get out of bed?
The formula for energy is excitement and enthusiasm, directed and focused toward a single passion
Why do I feel the need to compare myself with others?
We judge everything. Comparisons provide an opportunity for you to feel better about yourself without having to improve yourself
Why do I do such terible things even though I’m good person?
Constant shift in personality are indicztive of someone who is self absorbed
Why am I so paranoid?
Any action by another can be interpreted as an assault on you
Why do I feel nobody really knows or understands me?
You are not living the kind of life thst you would like to be living, and you aren’t doing things you would like to do. You don’t want to be understood
Why don’t I take better care of myself?
You don’t engage in activities that produce long term benefits because you are essentially afraid
Why do I eat foods that I know will make me sick?
Pleasurable when eating. Pleasure clearly is something that is desired, and pain is something that should be minimized
Why do I overanalyze fhings to death?
Your need to think things through comes from a fear of making mistake
Why do I pursue things I really don’t want?
You are unable to delay gratification of simple pleasure for the long term investment of a greater goal. You prefer to rely on society to set the standard of choice. Before taking any major action, ask yourself, if this purchase, relationship, activity was free and abailable to anyone and everyone, would I still want it?
Why do I dwell on the past?
The past never changes, it is a constant in a world of uncertainty. The past may be your only source of pride and accomplishment
Why do. I feel so hopeless?
You don’t think you’ll ever be able to get to where you want to be or do what you really want to do.
Why do I feel numb and unconnected?
You refuse to acknowledge on a conscious level something in your life that may evoke painful memories, guilt, or any feeling too uncomfortable to look at and deal with
Why do I crave attention?
Desire to be recognized and appreciated.
Why am I so sensitive to rejection?
Rejection brings into auestion your opinion of yourself
Why am i so lazy?
You are not moving toward something that excites you
Why do I feel morally superior?
Compensation for feelings you are uncomfortable wirh and do not want to face
Why am i so closedminded?
Changing your mind is threatening to your ego
Acknowledging who and where you are, your strengths as well as your weaknesses, is the beginning of any growth process