Key Points from Book: How to Change Anybody

Man is what he believes -Anton Chekov

All of us want to be better, to be fulfilled, and we are desperately seeking to use our potential and becoming something more

To change how a person believe about something, you reshape the belief that connects the two values. If a man believes money leads to happiness and then discover that is a false belief, his priorities change as does his subsequent behavior

Make them more ethical:
Tell them that their bad behavior is influencing someone they care about, for instance his child
Tell him that everyone know his bad behavior and are put off by that. It will embarrass him into short term change
Make him agree to some facts about his bad behavior leading to even worse habit
Tell him what you respect from him regarding to his bad behavior
Insanity in individuals is something rare, but in groups, parties, nations, and epochs, it is the rule-Friedrich Nietzche
When we are in a community where bad behavior is not tolerated, then we adjust ourselves according to our surrounding
Praise him lavishly and critique his behavior afterward

Inspire loyalty:
Bring people in on the inside and give them a little bit of power. They will have harder time turning on you because you make them feel so special and important
We all want to attach ourselves to people of character. If you take a position that is unfavorable simply because it’s right to do so, then long after the situation is forgotten, you will be remembered as a person of morality
Human beings have a strong need to act consistently. Ask small favor before big one
Show humility by being honest, admitting you are wrong, not speaking when you don’t know the answer, etc

Eliminate Prejudice:
Turn facts into real people with real stories by engaging people emotion
Have someone a biased individual respects explain why he doesn’t hold the same prejudice belief
Perform act of kindness to him
When people of different gorups, with a similar social status, work together toward common goal, their prejudices are reduced

Help parents to spend time with kids:
Use the social pressure
Trade what they have to do with what you want to do. Replace her task
Find something they both have interest in
Arrange time and work their schedule around it
Engage by bringing out inconsistencies between parent’s value and behavior

Motivate anyone to lose weight:
Don’t make being fit about the other person, but about you
Whenever people express an interest in doing what you want them to, take action right away to build momentum
Behavioral change is easiest to make when the new behavior is incorporated within the context or a routine or pattern
Give positive reinforcement
Help people realize the importance of taking care of themselves by having them consider that oers would suffer if they were to suffer from poor health

Turn anyone mood:
Encourage objectives that have long term benefit
Help others to be aithentic, to be genuine in what they want out of life, and to move in some small way in that direction
Find an event to be excited about
Give them a chance to contribute

Help people like themselves:
Human beings need to be moving, moving toward a goal
The ego needs measurable traction
Give a sense if independence and autonomy
Have meaning and a sense of permanence
When we are creating, we feel alive
Do what is good, right, true

Eliminate self destructive behaviors:
Get in his level of thinking
Focus only on one thing only at time
Begin healing with instant success, do what is easy to achieve first
Divide healing into doable parts
Encourage him and give joy in his effort
Unconditional love, support him for whatever he do or is
Accept him for who he is

Emergency case:
Back to basics, live simple life with as little belongings as you can
Change want into need

Turn people to be more active:
Prioritize what he needs ro get done today
Give deadline
Ask his experience where he acted ambitiously
Narrow a person’s perspective, magnify the importance of what is available to him
Make him excited about the direction he is moving, make sure there is no conflicting values
Improve his appearance and environment

Turn anyone to an “extrovert”
Have the person visit or live in a new place
Improve his communication skills
Talk about his interest
Make him the most capable person in his surrounding

Bring out the romantic side in anyone:
Pretend to play a role like in movies
Feed the person emotionally
Be clear in what you want, and give as much possitive reinforcement
To increase your partner’s appetite try offering a different meal

Make people to be on time:
Change the stakes so the tsrdy person has more to lose than simply inconveniencing you
Help them relesrn the concept of time snd management, use schedule
Agree on things he could be late for and not
Anchor being on time with positive association

About Kevin

Kevin is an Emerging Markets Research Analyst at a global macro investment firm based in Montreal, Canada. Originally trained to be a medical doctor, he found his passion in capital markets after being involved in managing portion of his family’s equity portfolio. Kevin holds Masters degree in both finance and management, has passed all levels of CFA exam, and is a certified Financial Risk Manager (FRM), Chartered Alternative Investment Analyst (CAIA) and Professional Financial Modeller (PFM). He read voraciously and has a hobby of tinkering (read: programming) his systematic equity and volatility trading model for the “Quantimental” investment firm he founded. In his spare time, Kevin likes to travel the world and become a freelance photographer for Getty Images. To date, he has a portfolio of over 1200 pictures across 35 countries.
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2 Responses to Key Points from Book: How to Change Anybody

  1. susanddhavle says:

    Nicely sorted and listed…and very useful to know.

    • agent909 says:

      Thank you, I’ve been gathering psychological and self improvement technique for the last 2 years and hope it will enhance reader’s quality of life.

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