Daily prompt: Why Can’t We Be Friends?- Psychology Behind Making Friends in New Environment

Do you find it easy to make new friends? Tell us how you’ve mastered the art of befriending a new person.

As my post before explained, it’s not easy for me to make a new friends, specially under new environment. I tend to be silent in stranger’s land and observing what people do and try to learn their behavior pattern (like how they themselves introduced to new person, what are they talking as an open liner, their gesture and speaking tone), then I’ll copy their method in making friends. As an introvert since childhood I prefer others to approach me first and open the small talk with me, then I’ll try to keep up with them.

Or at least, that’s how I made friends so far in high school and in college. But now I felt more confident in new places, because I learn that the others are nervous as well! It makes me more comfortable knowing that other people may think the same-awkward-anxious thought as I do. So rather than complicating myself as I used to do in new places, I fake my confidence and introduce myself to the other appropriately. And it works! People greet me warmly and actually said they are more comfortable being approach as well. How relaxing it is to me!

So the next time you and I are placed in a new environment, think positively that other people want to know you, fake your confidence and walk straight, introduce yourself without stuttering and open the talk with topic that may interest them! Remember to listen more than you talk, and asking about their life will brings new topic to talk about, everybody loves to talk about themselves.

dp: why can’t we be friends?

dp

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About agent909

Kevin Yulianto is a private trader and equity portfolio manager with over 4 years of experience. He was born in Jakarta at July 18th 1994, graduated with Bachelor of Medicine Degree from Atma Jaya Catholic University of Indonesia in 2015 and is expected to receive Master of Management Degree from Binus Business School in 2017. Currently he is pursuing his professional certification in the CFA and FRM program, in which he passed level 1 for both program in 2016. Kevin is an avid traveler and photographer, with a record of 32 countries visited in 2016. He is a freelance contributor at Getty Image and is running two website in his spare time, journeyman.live and idxstockwatch.wordpress.com.
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3 Responses to Daily prompt: Why Can’t We Be Friends?- Psychology Behind Making Friends in New Environment

  1. I have always had an easy time making friends, although I am always nervous as hell when I do meet people for the first time. Usually a drink will help loosen me up. 🙂 I am usually a very charismatic person once I feel comfortable talking to others. I am an extrovert, so I can talk, and talk, and talk some more. 🙂 My baby sister, on the other hand, is an introvert like you, and has severe social anxiety… She has recently just started ordering for herself in restaurants. The science behind all of this is truly interesting.

    • agent909 says:

      Well, it is nice to be an extrovert in new places, I see people like you cheering and being “loud” even if they don’t know anybody there. People like you make the vibe energetic and does helps other join the party. According to the book “quiet” the 1/3 of the world is introvert and 2/3 is extrovert, both with their own characteristic. While extrovert prefer to hang out with friends, introvert prefer being in solitude. Thank you for reading!

      • I actually prefer solitude from time to time (I have an 18 month old, I need it). I will have to check out the book you have mentioned. It sounds like a nice study.

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