Key Points from Book: Get Anyone to Do Anything

Get anyone to like you:
Be around the person as much as you can because familiarity breeds fondness, not contempt
Speak with him when he’s in good mood to enact law of association. Talk about common interest
Make sure he know you respect and admire him
Let him do a favor for you
Build rapport (gesture, rate of speech, vocal patterns)
Show confidence, laugh at yourself, dom’t take yourself too seriously
Make her feel good about herself. Be someone who is complimentary and sincerely kind and warm
Have a positive mental attitude

Get anyone to find you irresistibly attractive:
Engage in an activity with this person where emotional arousal is high
Mind your posture and walking style to appear youthful
Eye contact when speaking and listening
Approach her when she is feeling less confident
Deepen the attraction by telling her you are attracted to her

How to make fantastic first impression:
Smile, it conveys confidence, happiness, enthusiasm, and acceptance
Make the best of inital moment by using positive word
Lay the unconcious groundwork prior to your meeting

Get the instant advantage in every relationship:
People want what they can’t have and they want more of what they have to work for. If you are easy to come, then you may be easy to let go
Balance gives you perspective. Don’t stick too obsesively to your partner. See the bigger picture
Introduce the element of uncertainty or doubt to reignite the passion
Make her feel good and she will feel food about you

Get anyone to see you as pure gold:
Price and availability are the most dominant psychological factors fhat determine the value of just about anything or any person. Sell high, then give a discount.

How to appear calm, confident, and in control in any situation:
Avoid sugar and refined carbohydrates
Smile makes you relaxed and calm
Breathe deeply
Practice yoga

True friend:
Interest, tell something important in your life and see his response
Loyalty, tell mutual friend’s secret and see if it get back to him
Pride, see if he is proud of your accomplishment
Honesty, is he telling you things he know you’ll be upset about
Respect, differentiate between curiosity to gossip and concern
Sacrifice, is he willing to give up something for you

Knowing lies:
Tell about a detail (false one) and see his reaction

How to tell if a person is bluffing:
A person who is bluffing will always overcompensate to create the illusion that he is 100% behind his convictions. A non-bluffer will take his steps carefully.

If you are suspisious about him doing illegal or wrong things, tell a story about your friend doing the same thing and ask for his opinion. Watch his responses

Get anyone to say what he is really thinking:
Just get her to commit liking the idea, then ask how it can be improved upon

Get anyone to make immediate action in any situation:
Narrow the options
Give deadline for taking action
Engange the law of consistency by first having an individual commit to a smaller request
Use your words and actions to engage the law of expectation
Reduce what he has to do into simple, easy to follow steps to get him begin moving in the right direction
Offer additional benefit for taking action now

Get anyone to take your advice:
You must arouse emotions in your attempt to persuade
Offer specific game plan with a clear cut course of action for proceeding
Add to this how your idea will prevent negstive or unpleasant consequences
Make your idea from his suggestion
Let him know that this new way of thinking is really consistent with who he is.
Don’t come across as know it all to be perceived as more credible and sincere
Be excited about the idea, enthusiasm is contagious

Get anyone to follow through on a commitment to you:
Get him to say it, get a specific time frame, develop a sense of obligation, engage his conscience, have him tell him how things will unfold
Then end the conversation with firm verbal confirmation such as “so, I’ll see you next saturday, right?”
As the day approach let him know that you appreciate that he’s someone whi really follows through/ know the value of friendship or responsibility or loyalty

How to get a stubborn person to change his mind about anything:
Begin with crowbar test (guessing number from 1-100 right)
Have him agree to similar idea or way of thinking to introduce consistency
Give her the opportunity to provide the solution
Change her physiology and get moving
Introduce new information and ask her to consider it again
Let her know you’ve been influenced by her ideas
Adopt two sided argument, but present your evidence regsrding your position first
Tell her it’s her idea or she is taken a part in it

Get anyone to do a favor for you:
Ask favor as soon as possible, farthest from the time that he will have to do it
Do something for him and follow the law of reciprocity
Avoid apathy by increasing personal responsibilities. Tell him you’ve no one to turn to
Your request should contain: what you specifically want, how he will feel good doing it, he can accomplish the task
If your situation is due to your incompetence, focus on the outside factor than you
Reshape his self concept to include the idea that helping you is something that is consistent with who he is
Tell him that the other have done it too and it’s the right thing to do
Make sure it doesn’t threatened her ego or success
Keep asking, until at least 6 times

Get anyone to follow you:
Remain to be one of the people in the crowd
Humility is the most powerful character for leadership. Don’t have a strong ego
Your vision must be clear, simple, and organized
Don’t confuse passion with authority
Never yell or chastise anybody
Make other feel i portant and special
Know when to aks for input and when to dictate

Get anyone to understand anything:
Give an overview before going into the details
State your expectation

Minority rule:
Your group must be consistent in the opposition or majority opinions
Avoid appearing rigid and dogmatic
Have an ally, divide and conquer
Introduce new information to change their mind
Find someone outside your group with the same view

Get any group of people to get along:
We unite when there is an opposing threat
Make sure that your group identifies itself with an image that is consistent with spirit of cooperation, not competition

Winning any competition:
Get the home field advantage whenever possible
Have others watch you when you feel that you are more competent than your opponent. Vice versa
To enhance your performance, anchor your successes to go into your ideal state at will (like having certain ritual)
Never act out of fear, focus on the objective, not on yourself
Mentally rehearse your performance and desired outcome
Always have a back up plan
Do the unexpected and give no warning, throw your opponent off balance

When things are going your way it makes sense to put more on the line and slightly increase your risk. Decide when to stop

Get anyone to return your phone call immediatly:
Leave a message that shows your appreciation, but isn’t clear as to what it’s about. Introduce curiosity

Get anyone to forgive you for anything:
Show it if it is beyond your control
If it is in your control, take full responsibility for your actions
Your apology should be sincere and specific
Let the person know you are prepared to face and accept any consequences for your actions. Restore her sense of power
Make him sure it will never occur again
Explain how your actions were rooted in fear, if it is
Show that your actions did not produce any of the anticipated benefits

Breaking bad news:
Avoid negative words, connotation, or stigma. Imagine the future you thinking about now
Present the situation when possible as temporary, isolated, insignificant
Use the law of contrast and comparison by illustrating how it could have been worse

Get your stuff back without argument:
Ask for it, explain why you need it now
Tell her that you think of her as the kond of person who always tries to do the right thing
Appeal her sense of dignity. Tell her that a few people you both know told you would never get it back
Tell her you are going to tell others so they won’t lose anything to her as you did

Say no without guilt:
After saying no, ask him back for a favor he will declined
Use the word because in your excuse

Turn rude person to friend:
Tell a third party that you like, admire, or respect this person
Show that you are interested in her
Talk about things you share in common
Make her feel good

Stopping a rumor:
If you know who is responsible, go to her and let her know that you are aware of who she is and what she is doing
Let her know there is a real person behind the rumors
Spread more outrageous rumor that overshadows that one, and incorporates it as well

Stop verbal abuse instantly:
Don’t get defensive, it it’s his problem don’t make it yours!
Be more upset at yourself than he is at you to acknowledge his authority and power

Get anyone to open up to you:
Ask specific question, how, what is he feeling, etc
Ask her how she feels about the situation

Dealing with complain:
Say nothing. Just listen. Paraphrase what he said. Ask him what he want you to do
Establish raport

Stop jealous behavior:
Downplay or minimize your trait he feels he lacks about

Get the best advice:
Listen with open mind, not what you want to hear
Don’t ask from someone who might be jealous or envious of you, or have a stake in the outcome
Get feedback from variety of people to add perspectives

Giving criticism without offending:
Criticize after you are removed from the event, put time between that
Tell them you are mentioning this because you care
Always criticize in private
Compliment first before criticize, and criticize the act instead of the person
Share some of the responsibility if you can
Offer the solution
Let him know he is not alone

Get anyone to confess to you:
Tell him a secret in your life
Ask him his view about general things like beliefs
Have the person focus in how he feels about the situation, nit in the situation itself
Offer benefit for telling you
Let him know you are not judgemental and we all do things that we are not proud of

Handle stupid question:
Never get defensive
Ask him to explain why he thinks the way he does
Change the question, reduce it to specifics, and then answer
What kind of answer will satisfy you?
Why do you said somthing you are not sure of?


About Journeyman

A global macro analyst with over four years experience in the financial market, the author began his career as an equity analyst before transitioning to macro research focusing on Emerging Markets at a well-known independent research firm. He read voraciously, spending most of his free time following The Economist magazine and reading topics on finance and self-improvement. When off duty, he works part-time for Getty Images, taking pictures from all over the globe. To date, he has over 1200 pictures over 35 countries being sold through the company.
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