Key Points from Book: Find Out Who’s Normal and Who’s Not

The body wants to do what feels good, the ego wants to do what looks good, and the soul wants to do what is good

Self esteem and ego fight each other. We must get respect from so,ewhere and when we can’t get it from ourselves, we demand it from others

Person with low self esteem is like pouring water into a cup that has no bottom

A lacking on the inside can never be satisfied with something from the outside

People respond to conflict in 4 ways:
Acceptance, healthiest response
Retreat, passive aggressive individuals
Surrenders, doormat personality type
Fighting, produces direct and unhealthy conflict

It is the power of free will and the subsequent choices we make, that ultimately shape the quality of our emotional lives

Income, attractiveness, intelligence have little effect on our overall emotional wellbeing

There’s a link between low self esteem and self destructive behaviors and habits

When we don’t feel good about ourselves, we seek temporary and hollow refuge of immediate gratification

You get what you expect. People performs in a way they are expected to perform

Four facets to emotional health: self esteem, responsibility, degree of perspective, relationships and boundaries

Self esteem is the fruit of discipline, the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself- Abraham J. Herschel

Three personality with low self esteem (LSE):
LSE with dented ego = compliant
LSE with inlated ego = arrogant
LSE with corrupted ego = avoidant

Self esteem is different from ego, confidence, success story, weakness, mood

Our childhood plays an important part in our emotional well being. Divorce increased the risk of depression in children

I can resist everything except temptation- Oscar Wilde

Dr. William Glasser: people do not act irresponsibly because they are ill; they are ill because they act irresponsibly

Sometimes we create a mini challenge through our day to feel false sense of accomplishment

Self condemnation can only lower our self esteem

Learn to delay gratification, focus on the long term instead of short term fun or comfort

Have a meaning in our every activity, unless it has one then it is not a productive one. And after doing meaningless activity you’ll try to justify wasting time, be careful!

The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty- Winston Churchill

Which one has more gratitude? Person who come close to an accident or the one who survive an accident? The answer is the latter

Pay attention to people with swinging mood for no reasonable cause

The small things are never dealt with so that we can avoid thinking about the bigger things, and the big things remain undone because our thoughts are occupied with the little things

Know when to abandon your ship (decision). People fet stuck where they are because they think they have too much thing invested in it.

Be careful with people who push their opinion or don’t know their boundaries in relationship

Scanning for people with possible mental problem:
Observation (mild): lack of focus, inappropriate dress, low energy, idiosyncrasies, overly dramatic or expressive, lack of patience or tolerance
Observation (moderate): emotional disconnect (cold), paranoia, distressed apperance
Conversation (mild): unnatural communication, uneasy state, lack of appropriateness, continual self references, people pleaser, gossip and making fun of people
Conversation (moderate): socially unaware, sexually seductive, ignore boundaries

Giving people a control enhance their self esteem

The true indicator of emotional health is when a person can respond to negative situations with patience and tolerance, even when he ismin a low emotional or physical state

Wise men talk because they have something to say, fools because they have to say something- Plato

Sign of emotional well being: integrity, honesty, regard for social norm, personal responsibilities, intrapersonal responsibilities, emotional core, perspective, approacj to physicality, attitude, self expression, boundaries, relationships in the past and present, empathy or envy, live and resilience

There is no great genius without some touch if madness- Seneca

Marriage boosted physical and emotional health

Religious people tend to be people with good emotional quality

Are we sating that a highly creative, never married, atheist, who has suicidal thoughts and addicted to srugs, is definitely unstable. No, but statistically speaking, the odds are not in your favor

Six stressor categories:
Acute time limited or brief stressors
Stressful event sequences
Chronic stressors
Distant stressors (in the past)
Background stressors (traffic, loud music)

You could blame it on your gene, but in the end it’s your responsibility to create the life you dreamed of.


About Journeyman

A global macro analyst with over four years experience in the financial market, the author began his career as an equity analyst before transitioning to macro research focusing on Emerging Markets at a well-known independent research firm. He read voraciously, spending most of his free time following The Economist magazine and reading topics on finance and self-improvement. When off duty, he works part-time for Getty Images, taking pictures from all over the globe. To date, he has over 1200 pictures over 35 countries being sold through the company.
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