Key Points from Book: This is How

For some people, self help makes them feel worse. You just have to accept the fact of who you are.

All we want is to be better all the time, but the question is, better than what? Know where you are now and where you are going to.

Positive affirmation are dishonest, it’s better if you accept what had happen to you and take responsibility for it.

People talk bullshit a lot, when they ask, how are you?, most of them are just doing their chit-chat without thinking. And the answer usually doesn’t reflect the truth as well.

It’s important to onserve your feeling instead of trying to manage them.

Think about the underlying cause of your emotion? What happened in the past?

Optimism sprouts from the knowledge that you are in control of your own life.

When you are feeling anything about your friends, talk to them instead of yelling.

Most of us are doing things in patterns, even a traveller use the same pattern. If you want to experience new things, find new friends, then expand your zone. How long have you live in your city? Have you gone to every street it has?

If something you want and fight for haven’t come to you yet, maybe there’s something wrong with you. Are you weird or easily angry?

But that’s not the cause to your limitation, it is your acceptance of it that matters.

Be exactly the person you would be if you were alone or with somebody. Nobody wants a phony.

When you could give all you have without asking for return, accept her fully without trying to change her, and happy if she changed.

Then you have found the one.

When you need something instead of want it, you’ll have it.

Some people want to become thinner even when they are thin already. Perhaps it’s not thin that they want, they think being thin will make them popular, or rich, or happy, or anything could be the reason they want to be thin.

Even a fat women with confidence wins over thin shy women

What you focus on, expands. That’s why it’s better to focus on what you want instead of what you don’t want.

Think your own thoughts

You can’t help anyone, but you could help them helping themselves

The truth is that life itself is brutally, obscenely unfair. Avoid self pity and take responsibility, even if you think other people are responsible for that.

A person can be utterlu incompetent and yet dazzingly confident.

Confidence isn’t competence

To build confidence, be present, stop thinking what they are thinking.

Take your side and defend it.

Awkward pause is far less effective than saying the wrong thing with perfect timing

Each failure you take is a step closer to success

Bully doesn’t simply evaporate, they only change their tactics. They brag and try to make us feel inferior. Feeling shameful.

You shouldn’t step on to plane with stuff in your baggage that you didn’t personally pack. The same with shame, it’s not from inside you but someone put it there.

Find the reason behind the problem. Are you losing interest with you spouse because you prefer to be with stranger?

Suicide is not going to punish your enemy or complete any of your goals. What they want is a new life, or the end of this life. Then why not start from the scrap?

Life is too huge for you to possibly hate. If you hate your life, then you don’t know what life is. Life is bigger than what you had experienced.

You have a choice, other people are not your responsibility to pleased

When bad things happened to you, you don’t try to heal it and wait. You acknowledge there will always be a hole there, it’s not going to change. And you should live with it.

Think of something has a start and an end. And think that you have lose it now, so when you lose it, you don’t.

Sooner or later, after your bad incidencd you are going to laugh and start living. The best is yet to come.

Limits force improvisation. When you have everything, you lose appetite for anything

Let go of the past, find a busy job to alternate your mind with constructive things.

If you are stressed, find a therapist. Therapist is not a friend or your audience

When were addicted and have recovered, you don’t “finally do it”, but you “finally don’t do it”

Know your capability in order to pursue your dream. See yourself objectively.

Don’t live an abusive relationship, it never takes courage to leave. It takes love.

Put yourself in other’s shoes

Talk your anger in a calm way, write a letter and put your emotion in it. But don’t send the letter. The exercise to increase your serotonin level.

Anticipate the worst and accept it as a part of your life from now on.

Be grateful for still having the ability to do something you love instead of resenting your disabilities

Hope is what makes men lives. And miracle does happen

This is how to do anyhing you want: follow the truth

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About agent909

Kevin Yulianto is a private trader and equity portfolio manager with over 4 years of experience. He was born in Jakarta at July 18th 1994, graduated with Bachelor of Medicine Degree from Atma Jaya Catholic University of Indonesia in 2015 and is expected to receive Master of Management Degree from Binus Business School in 2017. Currently he is pursuing his professional certification in the CFA and FRM program, in which he passed level 1 for both program in 2016. Kevin is an avid traveler and photographer, with a record of 32 countries visited in 2016. He is a freelance contributor at Getty Image and is running two website in his spare time, journeyman.live and idxstockwatch.wordpress.com.
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