Reflection: Paralysis Analysis

My life seems to be the life most teens would dream of, I have a lovely family despite our past problem, we are all healthy and able to do our work with joy, and we are living quite glamour life. We travel to another country every year to improve our perspective of the place we are living in called world. I and my sister have good marks in every subject in school, and now we are learning medicine without much problem. I have so many choice in my life, what to learn, what I want to be, where do I want to go, how i invest my money, etc.

All of these choice could be use to shape my life for the better, but it seems I haven’t maximize the facility i have to improve myself to my maximum performance. I am too f***ing lazy to move outside my comfort zone, although I tried to learn as much as I can in human relation, stock market, photography, and self improvement, it seems all of my learning didn’t produce anything. I am not really a “community person” in my university or community, in fact I felt more comfortable on my own. The stock market was great earlier this year, I could produce 30% profit from my capital, but I lose it on the next 5 months and I feel helpless, don’t know what to do. But I know stock market could be volatile in short term but it is the best instrument for investing in the long term, so I’m going to stick for life in it. I categorized my photography skill as a professional, I learn a lot in my high school year and until now it only produce about $110. I know I didn’t do much thing with my photography skill to earn money, it’s more like a hobby to me rather than occupation, so I’m not disappointed with it. And this year alone I had read 119 books on human relation, self improvement, stock market, and philosophy. But then what. Are those books helping me to improve my quality of life? Yes, my perspective in viewing things improved, i have more knowledge on those area than my peers, but how does it apply to my life? Reading is fun for me, and it’s a challenge for me to finish book in 3-4 days, and that’s all i do when waiting for line, lecture, etc. I read a lot in my free time as well, but when I’m with my family we usually watch movie together. 

With all things I do, am I just wasting my time? How could I improve my life and utilize all the facility I have? Although I like the idea of starting a business to bring some income for my future, I don’t know what kind of business I should started, or am I capable to organize it? Having choices makes me confuse and paralyze myself when taking choices. Perhaps someone who doesn’t have responsibility or expected to be successful in life have a benefit in making their choices, because these people have nothing to lose and everything to gain, but someone born in respected family are expected to be something in life and produce certain amount of money later. It brings a more conservative thinking and fear of losing what they have.


About Journeyman

A global macro analyst with over four years experience in the financial market, the author began his career as an equity analyst before transitioning to macro research focusing on Emerging Markets at a well-known independent research firm. He read voraciously, spending most of his free time following The Economist magazine and reading topics on finance and self-improvement. When off duty, he works part-time for Getty Images, taking pictures from all over the globe. To date, he has over 1200 pictures over 35 countries being sold through the company.
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2 Responses to Reflection: Paralysis Analysis

  1. susanddhavle says:

    You know you Don’t HAVE to keep doing a lot of things. The efforts made already mean you care about being a quality human being….that’s important. I think you are just fine and all your efforts commendable. Hang in there.

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