This month was a hell for me, I’m on one of the hardest cycle in medical school, studying Neuromusculosceletal. The amount of lecture is too damn high, the test was hard (harder than the usual cycle), and I have a presentation of my final research earlier this month. I woke up early and sleep late at night almost every night to study, or when I’m bored studying I am perfecting my research report.

This is my 5th semester in medical school, and sometimes I’m wondering what I’ll be doing if I choose another specialty 3 years ago, perhaps I’m running a business right now, or being a lazy college student (drinking and chasing girls). But I have a principle of, “we are an accumulation of what we do in the past”. And here we are now in this world, rich or poor, smart or dumb, respected or ignored. It’s all because of our action in the past, we do have the power to change our life, better or worst.

If I study for my test, I hope I will pass this cycle, and I have prove it in the past 15 cycle (FYI: I always pass the cycle with minimum score B-). But apart form that, there’s always a fear of failing every time I took the test, although I know I’ve learn and there’s nothing more I could do to increase my score (well, maybe there is), this fear haunt me.

But here I’m, in the beginning of a new cycle (psychiatry), waiting for the test result. From this frustrating month, I learn to manage my time, conquering my fears, and I’m ready for the next level of personal development.